Christopher J. Olson

The story of Tana and I is a long one, but I will share some of the experiences we had - how we began, grew as a couple, and planned for our future.

Tana Nicole Thompson was born May 16, 1979 to Dale and Glenda Thompson of rural Madison, South Dakota. Just like me, she lived her whole life in this area. She was a year behind me in school and attended the same church that I did. Remarkably, we were never more than casual acquaintances until after I was out of high school.

The situation changed in October of 1996. She was 17 years old and a senior at Madison High School. I had just turned 19 and was attending Dakota State University in Madison. I was living in the dorms and we began to have mutual friends. I worked at our local Pizza Hut where many of her friends also worked. She and her friends often played cards at a house very near to the campus. It wasn't too long before I began making the short walk to play cards. I wasn't looking for romance, but I enjoyed the fun and the profitability that the games held. I found myself spending several nights a week there and getting to know some people, including Tana.

A few weeks after I had got to the point where I felt I knew Tana, she became available. I was still hanging onto a relationship that I'd carried over from high school, but it wasn't going well. Tana began stopping by my dorm room (Higbie Hall room 207) on a regular basis. Looking back, it was easy to see that she was coming after me, but poor little naive me didn't realize it for awhile. A brief version of Tana's account of this can be found in the link containing her words to the right.

It all began the week of October 14, 1996. That Monday night, Tana and a friend showed up at my dorm room. They had come from a high school dance and asked if I wanted to do something. I thought it was a little strange at the time, but I figured they were just bored. Anyway, the 3 of us went "road tripping" that night and had a good time. The next night Tana showed up all by herself. She said she wanted to go to the basketball game but nobody wanted to go with her. I was supposed to be at my college algebra class that I had Tuesday and Thursday nights. I liked excuses not to go class. I found it strange that some of her other friends were there when we walked into the gym. If you haven't figured out by knowing me or reading yet - the lesson, as always, is that I'm an idiot.

The light bulb finally went off that Thursday night. Tana came up to my dorm room after school and asked if I wanted to go roller skating with a group of them that night. I know, that sounds like something out of a cheesy 1950's sitcom, but it happened. I did manage to make it to half of my college algebra class that night, but Tana was there to pick me up during the break. Yes, we went roller skating, and, yes, we held hands while skating to the "couples only" songs.

Tana had a spot that she always parked her black Berretta GT in since her trips to see me had become frequent. It was a spot on campus for visitors and had a 30 minute time limit that wasn't enforced after business hours. For those of you that know DSU, "her" spot was located in the very northeast corner of the parking lot between East Hall and the Kennedy Center. After the skating was done, we went up to my dorm room for a bit before she had to go home for the night. The light bulb had become pretty bright by this time, so I knew the right move was to be a gentleman and walk her to her car.

I'm almost embarrassed to reveal the rest of the story, but it was how we started and a moment we talked about often. It's very vividly ingrained into my memory. I took her hand in mine and began the short walk to her car. I was 19, but you would have thought I had never had a girlfriend by my behavior. We arrived at her car and I opened her drivers' side door. She didn't get in. She reached for the shiny pumpkin sticker (from a party with Halloween stickers the weekend before) that I had on my brown leather jacket and took it off to place it on her blue Nike coat. We made eye contact for what seemed like forever. I finally went to shake her hand and pulled her in for a hug. It was then and only then that I went in for a kiss. It was magical; soft, tender, filled with affection and the perfect way to begin our journey. There is a memorial tree planted in her honor on campus that blossoms every spring. The tree resides 50-75  feet from that first kiss.

The next day she invited me to go with her while her friend got her senior pictures taken. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could, so I agreed. I was smitten. We spent all day together,  capping it off by cuddling up on my bed and watching Top Gun (a movie that I once had an unhealthy obsession with). The walk to the car and the goodnight kiss went much better the second time and I asked her out on an official date for the next night. Saturday, October 19, 1996 was our first date.

After I finally succumbed to her charm, things only got better for us. I was wet behind the ears at age 19 and this new relationship was something I'd never experienced. We began spending an inordinate amount of time together, but it left me longing for more. She would often stop by my dorm room before school, during her lunch hour, and after school.

During this new breaking-in period (I was used to seeing a girlfriend 3-4 times a week instead of 3-4 a day) Tana developed 2 new phrases which she used often: "School is naughty" and, "Work is naughty." I worked a 2nd shift at a factory in order to acquire some spending money and had my College Algebra class a few nights a week. Once she came to see me after she was finished with school, she fought hard to keep me in her grasp until she had to go home for the night. She didn't have to twist my arm too hard because I too loved our time together.

We began dating around the midterm exam week of the fall semester when several nightly study sessions were held in preparation for the exams. I remember one study session in particular that I missed because of the "School is naughty" phrase being recited to me repeatedly. Needless to say, I did poorly on the exam the following morning. I can attribute the "W" on my transcript (for withdrawal) to Tana, but it was well worth it. The other aforementioned phrase had an adverse effect on my paychecks at the time, but I can take those vivid memories with me whereas the money doesn't mean a thing. I was glad to have somebody care enough to manipulate me into foregoing my other responsibilities. I was delighted to spend my time with her.

She became known very well on my dorm floor by others. Many people had dry erase boards on the outsides of their dorm room doors to say whose room it was and for others to leave messages. It wasn't long before somebody removed my roommate's name from our board and proclaimed Higbie Room 207 "Tana and Chris's Room." She even got her name mentioned before mine.

It wasn't long before certain feelings were revealed to each other and we were both on cloud nine. Things continued for us the rest of the semester the way they began, with each of us doing all we could to spend time together. As the holiday season approached, I consulted her friends as to what an appropriate Christmas present would be. One of her friends that knew us well suggested something from Frederick's of Hollywood. I gave that friend my credit card to use and she picked out something "nice." I wanted to get Tana something more - both because I wanted to spoil her and I wanted her to have something that she could show her family, which I didn't know well yet. Shortly before Christmas, I took her to a mall about 40 minutes away so she could pick out a present. A valuable lesson was about to be learned by me. Tana loved the color blue. A blue Nike pullover windbreaker quickly caught her eye. As we were getting assistance with it, she noticed matching pants and flashed me a look of adoration, pleading for the pants too. Although she had affected my paychecks, I reluctantly agreed. As we were on our way to the checkout of the sporting goods store, she noticed some blue leather Nike shoes that also matched. Just my luck. She found her size and held them in my face saying, "Blue shoes too?" We tried to have a rational discussion about the situation. I said she could have 2 of the 3 items, remembering how much I'd already spent on her other present. She was quick to respond with, "Blue shoes too?" and a big, glowing smile on her face. My protests went unheeded. As you can imagine, we left the store with all 3 items. Throughout our relationship, she would bat her eyelashes and say, "Blue shoes too?" whenever she wanted something when she knew it was perhaps something unneeded or a bit extravagant. I did my best. She had a way with me, but I loved it.

Tana spent that Thanksgiving with her family in Minnesota and I spent mine here with my family. I was thrilled to learn that for the first time ever I would be taking a girlfriend to my family Christmas gathering. Tana and I had become closer than we could have ever imagined in those first few months. Spending a major holiday together was a big step. It was the first of many, and I'm sad to say that every holiday that passes now seems hollow without her.

After that first Christmas, several things changed for us. For the first time since we started dating, we were forced to spend several days apart from each other. She traveled to California with the high school band to march in the Rose Bowl parade. Those days apart were a rough stretch for us.

I decided that I was wasting money living in a dorm when I lived 4 miles from campus, so I moved back in with my parents when the fall semester was over. This presented a new challenge for us because she was no longer able to just stop by for a visit anytime she pleased. Instead of spending much of our time in my dorm room, we began hanging out at her friend's house most nights. It wasn't the same, but we still got to be with each other. The early months of 1997 brought about some terrible blizzards, so we often found ourselves snowed in town, but only after very half-hearted attempts to make it home. We wanted to stay together.

It was in these early months of 1997 that Tana and I began to experience the troubles that couples sometimes go through when the newness of the "honeymoon stage" wears off. We had our little struggles, but each time we pulled through it. We attended Tana's Winter Formal that January.

In March of 1997, I decided to move into town to live with some high school friends. It was a dump of a house, but Tana and I could once again spend much of our days outside of school together. I would make her lunch everyday and she would stay at my house from the time she was done with school until she had to go home to go to bed for the night. We went to Tana's Senior Prom in April. I felt rather foolish going back to a high school prom - especially since I skipped my own senior prom - but it was worth it to be with Tana.

That Spring, I started a new job, besides my Pizza Hut one. I began working for Tana's family on their farm. I loved working hard in an outdoor environment so this was a great fit for me. At the time, Tana's father farmed nearly 2000 acres of soybeans and corn. I had worked on hog and cattle farms during high school, but I had never had the chance to work in the fields of a row crop farm. I enjoyed the job immensely, and it gave me the chance to get closer to Tana's family. Admittedly, I was horrible at first. I'd never drilled beans before so I have to plead ignorance. But I worked hard and became much better over the years.

Tana and I continued to grow closer that spring/summer. She had her 18th birthday and graduated high school. I particularly enjoyed the days following the busy planting season. Her father would often take a semi load of corn to the grain elevator in town first thing in the morning. This was great for me as it allowed me to get to the farm a few minutes early, climb the stairs to Tana's room and gently awaken her with a soft kiss on the cheek. She would smile and open her covers so I could crawl into bed and cuddle with her. I'd hold her for awhile until we'd hear the noise of the semi coming down the hill. She would then grab me and whisper her now familiar "work is naughty" statement, but I'd head down the stairs and out the door. It was the perfect way to begin my work day. That's how it went for us that first summer, but more changes were coming.

As mentioned earlier, Tana was fresh into her senior year of high school when our relationship began. There had always been little doubt as to where she would attend college - she was going to follow in her older sister's footsteps and major in accounting at Mankato State University (I think they have some other goofy name now) in Mankato, Minnesota. This was a scary thought for me. It was only a 3 hour drive, but, minus the band trip, we hadn't spent more than 36 hours apart since we started dating.

Tana and I had spent some time in Mankato visiting her sister, Dodi, on several occurrences. It was a nice college town with a fun atmosphere. I was eager to go with her for orientation in August of 1997 for 2 reasons: 1) I didn't want to spend 3 days away from her and 2) it was during the Minnesota Vikings training camp. I got to meet and shake hands with Cris Carter.

I sat through the first part of orientation with her. At some point, I even inquired about the availability of scholarships for transfer students. My parents were a little worried later on when MSU started sending me info on how to transfer. It would have been very hard to give up my 4 year academic scholarship that I was awarded at DSU, but I'd be lying if I said I never considered it.

Mankato was on quarters instead of semesters at that time, so Tana didn't start classes until the middle of that September. We took three vehicles to move her - her parents drove a car, she drove her Mitsubishi Eclipse, and I drove the family van loaded down with the bulk of her possessions. That was a very hard drive for me, following her and knowing that our days of seeing each other whenever we felt like it were nearing an end.

It was no picnic gathering carts, waiting for elevators, carrying things up stairs, fighting the crowds and trying to cram everything she had brought into the tiny dorm room she was allotted in her residence hall - McElroy F317. We got everything moved and met her roommate, but I was in no way eager to get going. Tana had her tearful goodbyes with her parents and gave them hugs, but I just had to prolong my departure. Finally, I made Tana walk me down to the van and hugged her for what seemed like an eternity in that parking lot. She spent the next half hour wiping away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks, kissing me, holding me and assuring me that things would be alright. My uneasy feelings couldn't be extinguished, but I knew it was time.

After my lonely drive home, I used her family's van to pack up my possessions and move home. It was nearly midnight, but I packed up all I had in that dungy basement room and went back to my parents' house where I resided the rest of my sophomore year of college.

Fall is a season of change, and that one held many. I was as busy as ever with classes, two jobs and trying to get on with life without having a running partner by my side to share my days with. I had become very close to her family by then so I was happy to be working my first harvest on the farm. The inevitable "see other people" phone call came not too long after the move, but I remained on the family farm to help out.

Anybody that knew Tana knew that her radiant beauty and her zestful love of life drew people to her in fun social settings. Her smile and laugh could reel nearly anybody in. It was hard for her to be in a new place with new people and still feel tied to home because of me. She was young and I don't fault her for that decision, but it still hurt. The weekends she did come home she spent with me. My loneliness even led me to seek out another, which didn't go well at all when Tana was back. There were back and forth struggles in our on again off again relationship, but it seemed as if cosmic forces couldn't hold us apart. We came to sort of an understanding when she was back for the long Thanksgiving weekend and when she returned home for nearly a month for Christmas break, the old magic came back full of new vigor.

When she returned to Mankato after Christmas, the thought of other people had faded. We both knew that what we had was special and talk of her coming to DSU began. She missed her friends, family and me. Changes, this time for the better for us, were coming again.

It was very hard to be separated after her month long Christmas break. My semester started a few days after hers did, so I was thrilled that I could spend a few days in Mankato with her before I had to return to my academic life. Once again, it was a hard trip back to Madison, but the uneasy feelings weren't there to eat away at me this time.

A little over a week later, Tana was home for the weekend. She was able to schedule her courses so she had every Friday off, making for long weekends. We no longer spent weeks apart; one of us always tried to visit the other on a given weekend. One such weekend was the one that had Superbowl Sunday. Try as I may, I couldn't get anybody to work for me at Pizza Hut. I wanted to be able to sneak away to Mankato to see Tana, but my attempts were being thwarted. I'd worked at this job for 3 years, but I was very upset that I couldn't at least cut my shift short. I quit. I drove to Mankato in time for kickoff. I don't remember a thing about the game, but I can fondly visualize being cuddled up with Tana on her futon. I took a holiday - skipped all my classes - that Monday so I could spend the night with her.

I had found a different job, waiting on tables in the fanciest restaurant Madison ever had, as soon as I returned. Predictably, this meant working many weekends, including the weekend of Valentine's Day. I did get up very early the following Sunday morning to make the drive, but there was still disappointment. I did my best to make it up to her by giving her a seafood related day of Valentine's presents. I filled her with lobster for lunch. I even tried lobster for her that day, which was a HUGE deal for me because I never try new foods. We then went to a pet store where I bought her an aquarium and three fish - one for her, one for me, and one for her roommate. Two of the fish died within days, but we had the one for two and a half years.

It was during that time that we first discussed Tana coming back to school in Madison. She wasn't doing well in her classes due to a lack of motivation, and accounting didn't seem to be her calling. Her mother was an elementary school teacher and Tana had often helped with the young kids. Tana was meant to be a teacher and DSU had a great program for her. She had made up her mind and wanted to quit school in Mankato that March when the quarter was over, but she stuck it out the rest of the year for her parents. When mention of this was first given to her parents, I don't think they were too happy with the news. After I had a talk with her father (nervously in a machine shed) and Tana did some serious checking into becoming an elementary education/special education major at DSU, they became more accepting of the idea. A lot of her decision was made because of her relationship with me, but being among family and friends, changing majors, attending a smaller school and just being home made it the right choice. It's no wonder that she went from barely being a C student to an honors student in one semester when she started at DSU.

Because of my new job, Tana started coming home nearly every weekend. Since she was constantly hanging around the restaurant anyway, it only made sense that she started working there as well. She never held a job while she was at Mankato, but the last 3 months she lived there she had a weekend job in Madison. Most importantly, it was right alongside me.

I was out of school by that first week of May, but the quarter didn't end for Tana until the second week in June. I was very busy working for her father at the time, but Tana was home a lot. She would come home as soon as she was done with classes on Thursday and stay until Monday morning. This was great for us because it meant we'd see each other for four days out of a week and only be apart for three. It was great, but not nearly as great as driving the van to load up her stuff and bring her home, for good this time. No more long, lonely drive or expensive phone calls - Tana had come back home.

A few weeks before Tana moved back home, I decided to venture out from my parents home again. I moved to town to live with a friend in an upstairs apartment of an older home. Besides my parents' residence, this apartment was the nicest place I'd lived up until that time. It wasn't very modern and hadn't been updated in quite some time, but it was a place that felt homey, especially when Tana was there. My roommate worked a night shift at a manufacturing facility so Tana and I often had the place to ourselves in the evenings. She also had a key made so she could come and go as she pleased.

Tana and I began to bond in a newer, more mature way that summer. Both of us were working for her family that summer on the farm so our morning ritual of me waking her up remained intact. In addition, we'd spend some nights early in the summer working side by side at the restaurant gaining a new appreciation for each other.

About midway through that summer, I secured an internship working in the MIS department of a local manufacturing plant in town. It was a part time position, so I worked mornings on the farm and afternoons in the office. Tana began doing things for me that showed just how much she cared. In addition to assuming my laundry duties no longer done by my wonderful mother, she began watching out for other areas of my well-being. As noon would approach on the farm, she always made sure that I got some lunch before sending me to town for my other job. She had a huge heart. Keeping me in line was something I think she enjoyed. It made our love grow stronger.

The new school year was approaching, but there had to be another move first. The current living situation wasn't working out, so Tana helped me pack up and move once more. I moved in with a different friend who knew that Tana would be a regular fixture. She was given a key the same day I was, and although she still technically lived with her parents, most of her time was spent at my new abode. She became good at excuses for staying in town, ranging from weather to homework to scary movies that made her afraid to drive home alone. I'm sure her parents saw right through them, but Tana started staying in town at least a couple of nights a week with me.

Our lives were very busy when we started school, both at DSU, in the fall of 1998 - juggling class schedules, work schedules and social lives. We always managed to find time for each other, but it was hectic that fall during harvest. It was still exponentially better than being separated by 3 hours. An added bonus was getting to see her between classes some days. It's the little things.

Tana and I had been together for over two years by this time. We had endured the trials that go with most relationships and learned many things about each other. We knew we both wanted more. There was no longer a question of a future together, it was a foregone conclusion for us and those that knew us. When my brother got married that March and Tana was rightfully included in our family pictures, we both felt a need to begin thinking about taking the next step. Love was in the air that spring.

For us, the next logical step was to live together. Tana spent most of her time in town with me, so it made sense that we find our own place to live. We began searching through the rental properties listed in the newspaper looking for a place where we could share more of our lives together. We wanted no more goodbyes at bedtime; we wanted to fall asleep each and every night together, taking comfort in knowing that we'd also be able to greet the new day as a couple.

As the weather warmed and the school year was drawing to a close, we looked at a few apartments. We visited a few apartments that were small and didn't meet our expectations. We faced the disappointment of missing out on one that we thought would be perfect, but we were too late. Finally, we looked at a place that we decided on. It was a large one bedroom apartment in a complex that was fairly close to campus and housed many college students. It was a basement apartment that hadn't been updated in nearly 20 years, but it became our home and a place that holds many fond memories.

Tana and I were both giddy with excitement as we told my roommate, our parents and friends of our plans. Nearly everybody knew that it was only a matter of time. We began making plans as to what we would need to acquire as a young couple that had little that we could call our own. I purchased a bed from one friend and a futon (which was used often for overnight guests) from another. I agreed to give Tana an early birthday present of bedding - a comforter, sheets and pillowcases. They were girly looking, but that didn't bother me. However, the cost did. I had no idea bedding cost so much, but it was a small price to pay considering that it would provide the setting for our many nights of slumber. I had a dresser of my own and she brought one from home, along with a table and chairs. We were set with two 25" TVs, a VCR, phone, computer and desk. We had a good start, with more to come.

School let out and it was time to move. We started moving stuff in as soon as the previous tenants vacated. We were officially in on Monday, May 10th. I also had just started a job that week. As a part of the job, I was putting in extra hours in the evenings and nights moving my new boss out of her house. The timing of her move was impeccable because she was looking to get rid of some of her stuff. Soon our apartment was filled with  2 recliners, a coffee table, a stereo and a very real looking plastic tree that now sits a few feet from my computer. We now had a crowded living area, but the seats were needed for our little social hotspot.

We didn't see much of each other that first week of living together due to my long hours, but I had a plan. Tana wasn't expecting anything for her birthday because of the amount of money I had spent on bedding already, but I had an Ace up my sleeve. My boss was getting eager to clear everything out of her house in Sioux Falls - South Dakota's largest city about 50 miles from Madison - and I hoped to use that weekend to finish her move and play my Ace. Since that Sunday was Tana's birthday, I had hoped she'd ride with me in the truck to bring a load back...with a little stop off at the jewelry store. She was less than fond off the idea of spending her birthday watching me work away from home, so I was quickly shot down. I didn't tempt her with the idea of a diamond. After all, a woman's wishes should always be followed, especially on her birthday. We spent the day together, just hanging out and enjoying our first peaceful day as co-habitators.

I worked very hard that next day, and it was late afternoon before another co-worker and I were able to get away to Sioux Falls to finish the job. We decided not to mess around either - we rented a large U-Haul truck that would hold the remaining contents of the house we were vacating. I had told my boss and co-workers of my plan, so there I was - pulling into a jewelry super store with a huge U-Haul truck during rush hour. Tana and I had known this day would come, so I had a fairly good idea of what she wanted. I went into the store and came out a half hour later with a round cut solitaire mounted diamond that I couldn't afford.

I spent the next several hours doing manual labor trying to think of the perfect way to propose. Several ideas popped in and out of my head during this time. I even briefly entertained the idea that my co-worker threw at me. I pondered more on the way home, but I was exhausted and my mind wasn't working well. We pulled the truck into the warehouse late that night and I began the drive back to my apartment.

As I got closer to home, I became so excited that I could hardly hold a thought in my head. My lame ideas for a magical proposal later in the week wouldn't be happening; I had to do it that night. I came home to a dark apartment. I had figured Tana would be asleep, which would add to the element of surprise. The lady that sold me the diamond had given me a fake rose, complete with a long stem and and red flower that opened up into its own little jewelry box to hold the engagement ring. I couldn't wait any longer.

I knew Tana had been asleep for awhile. We had always fallen asleep with the TV on and set the sleep timer for two hours. The TV was dark and silent. I wanted a little light in the room so I turned the TV back on, remembering not to be rude to Tana by blinding her with the bright light that the light switch would have beamed into her eyes. I went to the side of the bed, kissed her cheek as she slept and knelt down on one knee. I said in a soft voice, "Tana, I've got something for you." No answer. I shook her shoulder softly and repeated it. I think her eyes opened ever so slightly for a brief moment as she acknowledged me. She was far from awake, but I was persistent. "Tana, I brought you something." As the minutes wore on, she became more coherent. She eventually rolled over on to her back and became aware of the rose I was waving in front of her. She mumbled some words of appreciation as she grabbed it from me and rubbed the velvety surface against her cheek for a split-second before closing her eyes. I still remained on one knee as she invited me into bed. She was unaware that there was a much bigger gift awaiting her. I quickly told Tana to open it, afraid that she'd slip off to sleep again. She was confused as I tried to explain that the top opened up. She began to sit up on the bed a little, becoming more curious about what had caused me to wake her. She rotated the rose some in an effort to open it. I helped point it in the right direction while trying to find the perfect words to properly ask the impending question that was mere seconds away. Her eyes tried to make sense of what she saw as they slowly focused in on the diamond ring. I pulled her over to me as she sat up fully, her eyes suddenly wide open and sparkling with delight. I took the opened rose, held it up to her as I middle-named her and asked, "Tana Nicole Thompson, will you marry me?" She just sat there and stared as I awaited her answer. I had to inquire again before she accepted my proposal and slipped the ring on the proper finger. I stood up and was given the softest, gentlest kiss on record before I crawled into bed next to the woman that would one day be my bride. There was no public spectacle, no profound words and definitely no sky writing, just a moment where I asked Tana to spend her life with me. It was a moment between her and I, and one that was as pure as our love at that time.